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Some time ago I was working part time for Bill Stone at his shop in Chatham.One of the regular visitors was Danny and over a period of time we had some very interesting conversations.This "Danny Quote" is about the fact I was being plagued by wrong number calls by people that wanted the Medway Hospital:-
Me; "The shop number must be very similar to the number at the Medway hospital"
Danny; . . . . . .
Danny; . . . . . .
Danny; . . . . . .
Danny;"Hold on, the shop number's nothing like 999"
With a lot of time on our hands in the shop we used to discuss all sorts of subjects including Danny's misguided and misinformed views on Nazi Germany, this is another classsic Danny quote:-
Danny; I saw a terrific film last night, Schindlers List!!!
Me; Well I hope you learned something from it!!!
Danny; Yeah I did.
Me; What did you learn from it then Dan?
Danny; That "schnell,schnell" means "quickly quickly"
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
I'm a hero with coward's legs
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic
I will not surrender responsibility for my life and my actions.
No battle is worth fighting except the last one.
History is littered with wars which everybody knew would never happen.
"I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth."
"You meet a better class of people in pubs."
“I like the girls who do. I like the girls who don’t. I hate the girl who says she will and then she says she won’t. But the girl I like best of all, and I think you’ll say I’m right, is the girl who says she never does but she looks as though she…Here!”
Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
BOSS: A lot of young men would give their eye teeth for a job like this. JIMMY: Oh yeah, well find one then. BOSS: I beg your pardon? JIMMY: I said find one then. Cause d'you know what you can do with your job? You can take it, and your eye teeth, and your franking machine, and all that other rubbish I have to go about with, and you can shove it. RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE!!
Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"
Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!"
Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"
"It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am."
"It's not bragging if you can back it up."
"If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you."
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no use being a damned fool about it.
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally
. . . . more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
"I used to go missing a lot...Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World."
"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars the rest I just squandered."
"They say I slept with seven Miss Worlds. I didn't - it was only four. I didn't turn up for the other three."
Mae: "How tall are you ?"
Man: "Six foot seven."
Mae: "Well, let's forget about the six foot and talk about the seven inches".
When I'm good, I'm good. When I'm bad, I'm very good
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
What do people in China call their good quality plates?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?
HARRY: Yeah, well when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
MAYOR: Intent? How did you establish that?
HARRY: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.
